The Red Moustache Manuscripts

The Red Moustache Manuscripts contains vignettes chronicling over a half century of adventures. Some of the stories are amusingly funny while others can be seriously enlightening. So come in and enjoy a truly unique experience!

Long live the Queen? NOT!

 

Every spring when I’d hear that old teakettle start to whistle I knew my grandmother wasn’t always boiling water for tea. My “Bubbe” (Jewish Grandmother) was an immigrant from Russia. She came to America in 1913, alone, when she was sixteen years old. She was proud of her Russian ancestry and maintained certain traditions her entire life. One of those traditions was wearing Russian shoes. These heavy, black leather lace-up shoes were part high heel, part work boot; purposeful foot attire and not real stylish shoes by any stretch, but her shoe of choice. In our family they became known as “Bubbe Shoes”.

Bubbe would boil water and take the teakettle out into the front yard by the walk and pour it on the ants that foolishly had ideas of invading our home. Bubbe was brutally determined to wipe them out even if it took all morning and several teakettles. I’d watch as the ants would float to their death in the boiling water, Bubbe’s face stern and unemotional. I do remember seeing the ants begin to scatter at the sound of Bubbe’s shoes making their way down the front stairs, an unmistakable cadence. When it came to killing ants, Bubbe meant business and the ants knew it. She was barely five feet tall, but her tenacity was unparalleled.

Many years later I have continued the tradition. No, I don’t wear “Bubbe Shoes”, but I do kill ants. I guess I despise them as much as Bubbe did; a trait she undoubtedly passed on to me. But I am a modern day, sophisticated ant killer, no teakettle for me! I use Raid Max Bug Barrier. I buy the gallon container that has a battery powered spray head on the end of black plastic tubing that extends out of the top. It works.

This spring I made my way around the foundation of our 40’ x 24’ split entry ranch and after spraying I didn’t see any ants for months until just recently. We have a two foot high stump in our front yard by the driveway that is smack in the middle of a flower bed. While re-cutting the bed and cleaning it I discovered thousands of ants of all different sizes. I got my Raid Max dispenser and immediately started to work. After I exterminated all the visible ants I began peeling off all the dead bark and rotted wood only to discover layers of ants and ant larvae. At that point it was obvious I needed the internet-

After a successful Google search, I knew I had a colony of Carpenter Ants residing in the moist, rotted confines of the stump, a favorite place for ants to set up shop. They don’t eat the wood, but meticulously excavate it into living quarters. Apparently they can travel over 100 yards. My house is only 30 yards away. They had to be stopped!

Wearing ankle-high Caterpillar brand work boots and cheap, brown cloth work gloves I picked up at Benny’s, I took the straight claw end of my Sears hammer and started peeling rotted wood. With the removal of each layer more ants and ant larvae spilled out of the rotted stump. I sprayed the ants and then peeled away more wood. At one point there was a large movement in some rotted wood that was covered by a thick layer of thin rooted material. It was too large a movement to be an ant?

I kept spraying the area and suddenly the head of some kind of pest began showing itself. At first I thought reptile, maybe a snake. I was cautious, but I kept spraying. Suddenly this creature started to panic and made its way out of the stump. I jumped back and took a good look. It was two and a half inches long and one and a half inches wide and resembled a Cockroach. Scary looking thing too! The Raid didn’t kill it, but had it on the ropes. I watched as it struggled to remain upright. I knew I had to kill it. I took the gallon container of Raid Max and positioned it over this creature. In one swift downward movement I heard a loud crunch. I lifted the blue plastic container off it and saw that it had split open like a Piñata, spewing ant larvae around it. This was no ordinary insect; this was the Queen Carpenter Ant, the ant solely responsible for reproduction and the continuation of the Colony, capable of producing 300,000 ants. She lay there still moving and in an act of pure humanity, I crushed her one more time and put her out of her misery. The Queen was dead! The Colony would not survive without her and according to the literature on the internet there is only one Queen per colony and I had killed her.

I grabbed my spade shovel and in one quick motion I got under her and had her centered. Holding the shovel end away from my body, I carried the corpse across the street to a wooded area and in what resembled a “one-timer”, with the flick of my wrist she disappeared deep into the woods.

As I put away my tools I knew I had done well to preserve the tradition started by my Bubbe. She would be proud. I can only hope that one day my cadence will be as recognizable as hers.

When my wife came home from work and asked “How was your day?” All I said was “Good”, knowing she would never understand…

Goodbuy!

Well over a decade ago we got our first home computer. It was an inexpensive set with a monitor that had a small screen, but was absurdly large otherwise. We were dial-up customers then and logging on was noisy and time consuming. My wife and three boys were quick studies, but I kept a safe distance from this new piece of home technology that I initially found very intimidating. I watched as my kids typed at the speed of sound, using both hands like my high school typing teacher tried to get me to do way back in 1973, but with little success...

 After a year of being a spectator I began attempting to use the keyboard and mouse. I even took an evening course offered at the Attleboro High School to learn how to use the computer more efficiently. Once I discovered eBay I knew I had found my place on the World Wide Web!

After mastering the basics I was hooked. Buying on eBay was “man-easy”. Where my wife and her girlfriends loved hitting the Wrentham Outlet, I hated it, but I didn’t mind shopping from home. It was a perfect fit, a little too perfect…

In categories like bicycle parts, baseball gloves, motorcycle parts, leather jackets, to name just a few, I was hitting my stride and not looking back. Man was this easy! The prices were great and as a result I was able to buy more items and when I did look back, more items than I could possibly need.

Flash forward fifteen years and I realized many of those items had never been removed from their original packing- they were still brand new! Suffering through the recession made me consider becoming a seller on eBay. Once I started to list my items I began selling at an unbelievable rate, moving as many as five items a day. I became a regular at the Norton Post Office. The nice thing about selling on eBay is you can print labels from home and either deliver the packages to the PO or hand them to your local carrier. I opted to drive to the PO and get a receipt that I keep on file.

At first it was a bit difficult watching all my treasures leaving for their new destinations, but I was reminded frequently by you-know-who that I “hadn’t used the stuff so why not sell it?” I shamefully agreed- she was right (again!).

Then I started selling on Craigslist. A different experience all together, but overall not a bad one. I’ve met some pretty nice people who share my interest in bicycles, motorcycles, and baseball. I met a guy in Canton at Cobb’s Corner and sold him a Daisuke Matsuzaka M18 Signature Model Glove. We talked baseball for an hour and a half in front of Papa Ginos. He was the player/coach of a team and Doug Flutie was on his roster. An attractive woman in her mid-thirties from Littleton, MA drove down route 495 for a luggage rack and a brake rod cover for her Harley Davidson. After talking a bit she revealed that she was also an avid bicyclist. We had a great conversation. A man and his wife drove up from Norwich, Connecticut, my old hometown, and bought a dual suspension KHS mountain bike. Then there was the 6’2” 34 year old man originally from Germany. With a thick German accent he told how his mother had sold his BMX bike on him when he was a kid, he came to Norton and with a wide smile bought my son’s Hoffman BMX bike. He did look awkward test riding it, but he was extremely happy and that’s all that mattered. A 75 year old soft-spoken gentleman from Whitman secured a ride to Norton and bought a Nikon 4004s film camera. He said he had had one for years, but recently left it on a plane after a lengthy flight. He was happier buying it than I was selling it. To him it was the return of a lost treasure.

The most interesting Craigslist transaction involved an abandoned bicycle. I drove by a wooded lot and saw an abandoned road bicycle. Aside from being a lugged steel frame, fantastic blue in color with a white seat tube, it had a flat rear tire, shredded handlebar wrap, collapsed seat post, ripped seat, and a crooked handlebar. I slowed and took a closer look. I knew that you-know-who wouldn’t appreciate me bringing home a stray, so I drove on. After doing an errand I drove past it again. I slowed, looked, and drove away. Then I slammed on the brakes, backed up the mini van, and took her home! I couldn’t help myself-

The bike spent several days in my basement before I looked it over to see what it needed. Way too much. Bad idea. I’ll put it back where I found it in the morning.

Next day I loaded it up and drove to the wooded spot, but I couldn’t do it. I was fearful that some kids would get it and play “crash”. I did an errand and on my way back I almost left it, but I didn’t. I took it home again, but this time I was determined to fix it up.

I removed the rear wheel and then the tire and installed a new tube. I removed the axle nuts and put on some new shiny ones. I adjusted the front and rear brakes. I removed the ripped saddle and installed a new one I had hanging around, adjusting the seat post. I took off the old bar tape, cleaned the bar, and wrapped it with some really nice Mavic padded bar tape. I removed the damaged water bottle holder and pump bracket and installed a new black bottle cage. I adjusted the stem and stem shifter and then I cleaned the entire bike, chain and drive-train included. I lubed everything. When I was done the bike was mechanically sound and gorgeous! I took it for a short ride and I liked it! I took some pictures of it and put it on Craigslist for $200.

I got several calls and one caller was local and wanted to come right over. She asked some strange questions, hinting that she was very interested in this bike…

I brought the bike outside and leaned it up against the mini van. It looked great, like a new bike! The girl arrived with two male friends; she was about 20 years old, 5’4” tall, and wearing a red bandanna covering her light brown hair. After a brief introduction the girl walked cautiously in front of the bicycle, staring at it from different angles. I suggested she take it for a ride. She declined. Then she asked me how long I owned it. I said a short time. Then she asked where I got it. I said locally. Then she said it looks just like her bike that had been stolen off her front lawn…

I immediately came clean. I admitted to rescuing the bike from sure disaster and then fixing it. I assured her I would not steal a bicycle, that I had been a competitive cyclist and I owned several high end bikes. I told her how and where I found it, what condition it was in at that time, and what I had to do to make it roadworthy. Now wearing an angry expression and a resolute disposition, she insisted it was her bike. I said “I believe you- take it!” She asked where her seat was and told her it was ripped almost in half so I replaced it. She said I could take all my parts off if I wanted, but I took the high road and told her to take the bike as it was, cleaned, tuned and ready to ride. As she loaded it up I explained to her that had I not picked it up off the side of the road she would never have seen it again. That not only was I not the thief, I had rescued her bicycle and repaired it at no cost to boot- She thanked me and drove off!

It has become my most celebrated Craigslist story and least profitable transaction.

All things considered I’m having a lot of fun selling off all my collections and worldly possessions on eBay and Craigslist. Sure beats having a yard sale! I’m over the disappointment of parting with my stuff and I’m enjoying the profits and the all too familiar joy my buyers express. 

But, with every sale I have to wonder how long before these buyers become sellers themselves…

 

Moose II

It was after the night at the Foxboro Raceway that Moose and I became friends, at times inseparable. I hung out with him and his good friend Dennis who was from the next town over. Moose and Dennis, in my young, inexperienced eyes, were  two of the coolest guys on the planet, at least the parts I had visited. I couldn't believe I was hanging with them. We frequented bars and partied our asses off, sometimes until first light. The girls adored them and I became the third wheel, learning the ropes from two of the best. Moose's medium brown hair and blue eyes were in direct contrast to Dennis' jet black hair and dark eyes, but they worked the room incredibly well together, a lot like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. It was popular to wear both blue jeans and dungaree jackets and all three of us dressed alike, had moustaches and were all about the same height- 5' 10". We looked like three "Marlboro Men", which was a desirable look, at the time.

It was in December of 1975 that my mother and father decided to sell our house in Sharon, Massachusetts and head south to Miami, Florida, leaving both Moose and I without a forwarding address. I was 19 and Moose was 23. Moose had done some automobile reconditioning and I detailed cars on the side. We decided we'd move to Miami and open up an auto detailing shop. Dennis couldn't go with us, he worked in his family's package store and wasn't able to just up and leave. It was after Moose and I firmed up our plans that Dennis took me aside and said "Listen Vinnie, Moose is my best friend, but I don't trust him and you shouldn't either. Watch yourself-" It was a surprising change of perspective from the usual camaraderie that existed between the three of us, but I realized  that Dennis and I had become friends along the way and he was giving me a heads-up and I appreciated his candor and I did not take it lightly...

My mother had to have her chocolate brown, 1972 four-door Gran Torino transported to Miami and we were more than willing to drive it there for her, securing our ride and fuel costs while helping her out. We added two other local kids who needed rides south, Kenny and Robin.

Kenny traveled in Moose's circle, drove a Corvette, had medium length light brown hair, a moustache, and he wore a wide brim bushman's  leather hat on occasion and when he did, he reminded me of a more refined version of Dennis Hopper's character Billy in Easy Rider.

Robin was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. She was tall, 5'7" barefoot, with long legs, big brown eyes, and long, straight brown hair. Her nose, mouth, and cheekbones were all perfect. And in addition to being easy on the eyes, she was a free spirit, confident, and spoke openly about everything and anything. Robin was a couple years older than me and I was only able to admire her from a distance, never closer than that.

It was during the second week of January 1976, that Moose and I rented a 5' x 10' enclosed U-Haul  trailer from his brother Paul who worked at a local garage. On paper it was a one day, prepaid, local rental even though the trailer was headed to Miami. We knew the paperwork was going to disappear and there would be no way to trace it back to us. The trailer was hooked up to my mother's Gran Torino using the orange U-Haul bumper hitch that was included with the rental.  Back in the day bumpers were chromed metal , not painted plastic like today's variety, air bags didn't exist, and hitches were temporarily chained to them, no expensive frame-mounted trailer hitches required. The turn signals were temporarily spliced in too.

First in the trailer and carefully secured, was Moose's 750 Norton Commando. It was gloss black with gold tank graphics, had a short, twisted chrome sissy bar that came to a point, a narrow buckhorn pullback handlebar, a custom Corbin-Gentry two-up leather seat, open exhaust, extended front forks and a hog wheel out back. It was a very unique motorcycle that sounded every bit as good as a Harley. In addition to the motorcycle, Moose brought his bureau, ten speed bicycle and some other belongings he previously had in storage. I brought my bench and 500 lbs. of iron, the kind you pumped. I was big into weight lifting and between the trailer, the motorcycle, the weights, and four passengers, the Gran Torino had to do some serious pulling and its 302 small-block Windsor V8 was more than up to the task.

Kenny was going to his family's winter home in northern Florida and Robin was getting off in North Carolina, where her boyfriend Frank lived. Moose and Kenny were cool, but Frank had to be the luckiest guy on the planet, and that included every square inch of it and parts unknown.  

Moose was first behind the wheel. While he drove, Kenny and I sucked down cold beers we kept on ice in a Styrofoam cooler between him and Robin in the back seat, and we indulged in some good Jamaican pot. Moose kept a cold one between his legs and sipped it while he drove and didn't miss his turn on the smoke either. Robin wasn't much of a drinker, but she liked weed and once we were all stoned the conversation amped up and we laughed all the way to North Carolina while listening to the variety of local FM radio stations I tuned in as we logged miles and reception continually faded.

I tried not to be too obvious, but I studied Robin's incredible face while she spoke.  It was a treat for me to smell her perfume and breathe the same air as her all the way to North Carolina. I didn't care how long it took; I could have stayed in that car with her for eternity...

To Be Continued...

 

*All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Paying respects...

When I heard that my good friend's mother had passed away I knew it would be much appreciated if I attended her funeral service. I knew her and had done some work in her home. She was a petite woman with a  thick German accent whose husband died young and as a result, worked her entire life up until she recently became ill in her mid 80's. She was a survivor, a tough woman whose determination and work ethic she passed on to her older son. Even at the time her illness set in, she had all her faculties and carried on good conversation.

I found out last minute about her passing and all I knew was the town the service was being held in. With five fresh inches of snow on the ground and more on the way, I shoveled quickly, put on a shirt and tie, and headed in the direction of the town, twenty-five minutes away...

There are two Funeral Homes in that town and you pass one to get to the other, so I felt confident I'd arrive at the right place and on time. As I drove by the first one I saw in a glance that the parking lot was completely empty, so I continued on...

When I arrived at the second parlor which was seven minutes down the road,  there were lots of cars and realizing I was running a little late I parked and headed in quickly... Once inside I saw that the crowd was standing and the casket had already started making its way down the center aisle, marking the end of the service. I looked for my friend and his wife, the only two people I'd immediately recognize, and I couldn't find them. In fact, I didn't recognize anyone. Then it dawned on me- I was at the wrong funeral!

I couldn't leave without being a disruption and so I stood and waited for the casket to finish its journey to the limo, and then waited for all the people seated to leave row by row. I nodded my head and paid my respects just as I would have had I been at the right funeral and actually knew the deceased, all the while growing more and more concerned that I would totally miss the funeral service I should have been at...

When the parlor emptied I ran to my car, made my way through the crowded lot along with the other mourners, and headed back towards the first parlor. When I arrived back at this location the lot was suddenly full and I parked in one of the only spots left, in the far corner. I ran through the slush and into the parlor. I tried not to draw attention to myself and quickly took a seat in back row. The service was wrapping up and within minutes the casket began making its way down the center aisle, just as the other one had, and only minutes ago.

As the casket got to the back, close to where I was standing, my friend saw me and gave me a low wave, arm at his side, fingers pointing towards the ground, nodding and acknowledging that I was there for him. He had seen me, I was there, I paid my respects like good friends do-

No one would believe I attended two separate funeral services in under a half hour. Who crashes funerals anyway?

Them and Us...

I’ve always told my kids that unfortunately there are only two teams in life- “Them and Us”.

“I can see by your coat, my friend 
You're from the other side 
There's just one thing I've got to know 
Can you tell me please, who won?” 

And I believe it too. Whether you’re talking about the Hatfields and the McCoys, Red Sox - Yankees, North and South, Sharks - Jets, there are really only two teams, “Them and Us”.

“When you're a Jet, 
You're a Jet all the way 
From your first cigarette 
To your last dyin' day.” 

Too many times we divide ourselves when we don’t have to. But it is my belief that it is in our nature to pick a side. We enjoy having a rival, an enemy, it helps us confirm who we are.

“When you're a Jet, 
If the spit hits the fan, 
You got brothers around, 
You're a family man!”

And being part of something bigger than ourselves makes us feel bigger than life- 

“When you're a Jet, 
You're the top cat in town, 
You're the gold medal kid 
With the heavyweight crown! 

Here come the Jets 
Like a bat out of hell. 
Someone gets in our way, 
Someone don't feel so well!” 

I’m not sure we can solve all the mysteries of the world if we “divide and conquer”, but I do know if we acknowledge our common traits and choose not to dwell on our differences, we can make a better world.

“If you smile at me 
I will understand 
'Cause that is something 
Everybody everywhere does in the same language” 

Recently, the tragic violence that has taken young lives unnecessarily has only divided us more…

“Horror grips us as we watch you die 
All we can do is echo your anguished cries 
Stare as all human feelings die 
We are leaving, you don't need us” 

It’s every man and woman’s choice to be fair in their evaluation of others. I’ve made my choice…

“Wooden ships on the water, very free, and easy 
Easy, you know the way it's supposed to be 
Silver people on the shoreline let us be 
Talk'n 'bout very free, and easy”

And it's a fair wind 
Blowin' warm out of the south over my shoulder 
Guess I'll set a course and go”…

 

“Wooden Ships” lyrics by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young                                                                “Jet Song” lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

 

 

 

You dirty rat!

It's a fact of life- "All ships have rats". Doesn't really matter whether it's a cargo ship, an ocean liner or a Naval vessel, there's going to be rats on board. They hide in the bowels of the ship, but sooner or later you'll see their dark, grotesque silhouettes on a cold night, get a glimpse of their beady little eyes, hear them scampering across sea-soaked decks, or see them using their long, thick furless tails to balance themselves while traveling across the ship's rigging. And it's hard to eliminate them, after all, over time rats have proven themselves to be the ultimate survivors.

Rats are found in abundance on ships with lots of cargo and a good supply of food. When the food source is depleted, such as with abandoned ships, rats turn to cannibalism, feeding willingly on themselves. Dead rats become food for the living. Rats will always find a way to survive and that's what makes them so dangerous.

Rodents allowed to infest ships cause damage to ropes, woodwork, electrical wiring and have devoured large portions of the crew's food. Seaworthy rats have spread plagues and were responsible for "Black Death". International diseases like Murine, Typhus, Salmonellosis, Trichinosis, and Leptospirosis have all been spread by rats.

Some reputable shipping companies put forth huge efforts to rat-proof their ships. One method that has been used on many ships to reduce the rat infestation dates back to ancient times, it's called "The Ship's Cat". Cats naturally kill rodents and their presence on ships greatly reduces the rat population and in some cases they have deratized ships.

It's normal for rats to nest in the lower portions of ships and it's in those lower sections that almost all ships, especially wooden ones, take in water. Folk lore has it that when ships start taking in more water than normal, these rats would leave their nest and be seen jumping overboard, feeling their chance of survival is greater in the open seas than on a sinking ship. Many sailors who survived sinking ships have said they saw rats jumping overboard days prior and as a result rats were credited with knowing in advance when a ship is going down. The expression "like rats leaving a sinking ship" was born from tales like these.

Rat populations aren't limited to the sea. On land rats survive quite nicely in cities. In the  basements of buildings, on city sidewalks, and anywhere trash is overflowing rats are likely to make their homes. There are many different types of rats, but their behavior is similar, search out nourishment and survive.

Rats utilize plumbing systems as tunnels, finding their way into buildings through drainage piping. At one time buildings in cities had "house traps", large diameter running traps made part of the drainage system and located at the building's foundation wall. They served as  motes to discourage rats from entering. Unfortunately these U-shaped traps clogged too often with solid waste and unless there is documentation of rat infestation and special permission by a Plumbing Inspector, they're no longer allowed.  

Rats are not too unlike human beings. The need to survive is top on the lists of both species. But in reality, the presence of rats is easier to detect. They leave droppings, open containers, and by chewing through wires and ropes it becomes obvious they exist. On the other hand, human beings are much more clever than rats. They know how to cover their tracks and as a result are much more difficult to detect and potentially more dangerous.

Human beings are responsible for damages that far exceed the kinds of damage rats can cause. Humans can bankrupt entire industries, murder innocent people, been known to plunder and loot, embezzle, extort, corrupt, rape, lie under oath, commit homicide and genocide, they bully, hate, and are bigoted.

In the final evaluation, rats are unaware of the damage they cause to property or the sickness they spread through filth, but human beings are aware of their misdeeds and the damage they cause, and because of this, they are far more dangerous than rats.

Human beings are on ships, in cities, run industry, rule countries, they're everywhere. Unfortunately the ones that cause the most damage are usually the most difficult to catch. They're calculated, sneaky, and not to be trusted.

In the 1932 movie "Taxi", James Cagney plays Matt Nolan, a scrappy young cab driver with a fiery temper. In one scene, with a loaded revolver in one hand he confronts his brother's killer through a locked door and famously says " Come out and take it, you dirty yellow-bellied rat, or I'll give it to you through the door!"

Humans have always referred to the lowest members of their species as rats, but that just may not be the case...

 

Organizational Behavior and Success

Progressive organizations attempting to harness success in the ever-changing global economy have found they must adapt quickly to changing environments, develop and implement new management strategies, and boldly anticipate the future. Without a clear vision, a well-defined mission, a strong organizational culture, and the ability to work successfully within a wide range of cultures, organizations seeking to hire skilled employees will find themselves at an extreme disadvantage.

"The most important company assets go in and out the doors every day, i.e. the employees," said Shelly Meyers (2000), CEO of Meyers Capital Management. The new workplace is diverse, informal, and has abandoned the vertical in favor of a more horizontal approach. An organization's effectiveness, its ability to achieve its goals and efficiency, along with its ability to do so with minimal waste, will depend on how well it can implement these concepts.

The study of individuals and groups in organizations is referred to as OB, an abbreviated term for Organizational Behavior. Of all the assets available to organizations in today's modern world, it is still the people that are the most important to its success. Effectively managing people is key to the long-term success of any organization. Understanding the new demands and expectations now placed on employees can prove instrumental in creating a comfortable and productive work environment.   

 "Yesterday's strategies won't necessarily make you a success in tomorrow's world" (Ernst & Young, cited in Organizational Behavior, 2003). Unlike the workplaces of the past where traditional hierarchies ruled, there is a new emphasis on teamwork and the empowerment of employees at all levels, an increased concern for work-life balance, a greater dependency on technology, and considerably higher standards regarding ethics and social responsibility.

OB strategies are unique to each situation and do not recognize one method as being best to manage people. OB utilizes surveys, case studies, laboratory studies, field studies, and statistics called meta analyses, to gain insight and better understand each individual situation, carefully determining the best approach.

Earning the trust and respect of employees will always be at the foundation of any effective management strategy and OB seeks to maintain that standard. Its ultimate goal however, is to constantly improve the organization's functions as well as the experiences of all its members.

"People should be valued for their differences- not in spite of them." (Bissonnette, 2005). Technology and globalization have changed the face of corporate America. There is no longer one face, one language, or one culture. People from all over the globe have found themselves gathering under the same umbrella, sharing in actions, values, beliefs, and common purpose with people continents away. The co-existence of gender, race, ethnicity, age, able-bodiedness, and sexual orientation differences in the workplace are referred to as workforce diversity. Progressive organizations embrace this type of diversity, preferring to hire employees based on talent, no longer harboring any kind of bias. Ability has become the most sought after characteristic.

Organizational culture can be considered the fabric from which all organizational garments are woven. Formally defined, organizational culture is: A pattern of shared basic assumptions that the group learned as it solved its problems of external adaptation and internal integration, which has worked well enough to be considered valid and, therefore, to be taught to new members as the correct way you perceive, think, and feel in relation to those problems (Schein). Developing from within, the system is comprised of shared actions, values, and beliefs that guide the behavior of its members. Recognizing its heroes, belief in rituals, rites and ceremony, having its own jargon and symbols, organizational cultures in their purest form are easily observed, providing a strong identity and a stable social system that needs little in the way of outside control.

High performance employees are often after more than just a high paying job; they seek out organizations whose culture stands for something they can believe in. For those who found the slogan "Truth, Justice and the American Way!" appealing, there was Superman. His creators were after a symbol that the American culture would buy into. Between the slogan, Superman's heroic actions, the suit made from the blanket the infant was found wrapped in, and the familiar "S" symbol which came to stand for the true essence of the man- Superman's creators were able to develop a culture of followers who shared in his beliefs, values, and was also aspired to share in his actions...

Communication is a vital part of any organization's ability to build trusting relationships. It is through communication that employees at all levels feel empowered. Maintaining close communication keeps employees connected at all levels; it is the chain that collectively links the organization. A slight lapse in communication can break that chain and any trust can quickly become substantially diminished. Communication, whether done by phone, email, or in person, links organizational members to one another, empowers individuals at all levels by giving them a voice, and makes globalization possible.

The new workplace puts certain demands on its employees that traditional workplaces did not. One of those demands is life-long learning. No longer can individuals learn one technology and stop there. The environment is constantly changing and to keep up in the progressive workplace, employees must constantly acquire the latest available information, increase their knowledge, and be capable of adapting to every new circumstance. It's no longer what you know or even whom you know, it’s what you've just learned and whom you've just met, that is fast becoming more important.

"Turn and face the strain- changes" (Bowie, 1972). The new workplace has forced changes in organizational behavior. To keep pace and to offer a work environment that attracts high-performance employees, progressive organizations have had to be dedicated to learning, listening, analyzing, and be willing to change in order to remain competitive.

Along with building trust through communication, empowering employees at all levels, and developing a sense of cultural sensitivity; in order to be successful, progressive organizations must continue to keep one eye on the future while keeping both feet firmly on the ground.

Looking Out

It's late on a school night and while my wife and kids lay in their beds asleep, I sign in. 'Vindoggie'- that's my alter ego. I haven't left the country in over 30 years, but Vindoggie dashes around the globe meeting people from around the world. Yeah, that's right, I'm on eBay where I can get lost in the jungle of strange, unique and sometimes bizarre items people put up for auction. I buy and I sell, sometimes the same item. I'm interested in everything and anything. I recently bought a hand-painted coffee mug that has a baseball glove, a ball, and the upper extremity of a voluptuous woman shaped into it, and it was only ten dollars shipped to my doorstep. There were no other bidders. I told my three boys I bought it because the mug had all of Daddy's favorite things. I consider it a novelty item, harmless in fact. Who knows, maybe a future family heirloom? Over the years I've won bicycles, motorcycles, books, baseball bats and gloves, some rare and exotic coffee mugs, and a whole host of other items that would take too long to mention. I've sold and shipped bicycles, antique telephones, and baseball gloves to people all over the world. I shipped a Cannondale bicycle frame to a fellow in Moscow, and a Klein to a guy in Japan. It's all great fun. On this night my obsession has me in the category of 'Baseball Gloves', more specifically, 'Mitts'. My pulse quickens as I scroll down to a guy living in a small town near Seattle who has a Smokey Burgess autograph model. "No ink, in usable or displayable condition", according to the seller who's got feedback of over 100 positives, and in reading the comments, I see that everyone seems pretty happy with this guy. No, I quickly decide, this mitt is not the one. With a click of my waiting mouse I continue my search, hoping I will stumble across the perfect catcher's mitt...


It was back in 1976, I had just purchased a cherry 1963 sun-faded, light blue, 4-door Chevy Impala from a very old man whose decision to stop driving was not his own. His last name was Tate. The car was parked beside his small, white ranch house, on a quiet side street not far from Lake Massapoag in Sharon, MA. With the 'for sale' sign he purchased at the local hardware store carefully taped to the inside of the dusty windshield, the car caught my eye while I jogged by, and so I circled back later that afternoon to get a better look. He told me he had used the car daily, the longest drive being a weekly run to Mattapan to pick up his favorite newspaper, The Jewish Advocate, about 26 miles round trip. He claimed that nobody had ever sat in the back seat, a fact that absolutely sold me, and all my testosterone, on this particular car.

I made the car purchase at a time in my life when I was going through serious changes. My parents had recently sold our house and moved to Miami, 1500 miles away. There were no longer any free meals or any women jumping through hoops to do my laundry. I had just turned 20 and had no immediate plans for the future. After dropping out of college a year earlier and spending some time living with a friend in South Florida, safe from the New England winter, I moved back up North and lived in my Uncle's basement in Needham, MA, sharing the space with my cousin's two untamed dogs, Sheba and Mishma. When that arrangement didn't work out, I moved into my best friend's basement and lived there until his father discovered his two boys keeping illegal substance, my apparent bad influence to blame for their wrong doing.

From there I took myself and all my worldly possessions, which amounted to very little, to a boarding house owned by a guy I had worked with while still in high school at a garage called Cook Brother's Getty on route one in Walpole, MA. Dick had once been a crackerjack auto mechanic who drag-raced at Epping, New Hampshire, driving and wrenching his Ford Shelby to many impressive victories. At the time he was fast approaching forty years of age, stood about six foot tall, lanky, with a mid section that was very capable of liquid storage. He wore mirrored, aviator sunglasses, had some color from the sun on his face during the summer months, and struggled to keep his thinning, light brown hair under control. He spoke through thin lips, displayed a wise-guy smile, and had a good size helping of the devil peering out through his light blue eyes. He was a character who had "been there, done that" and showed no signs of slowing down! The problem was he had an incredible thirst and the booze interrupted and eventually consumed his life.

After the divorce in 1975, Dick maintained possession of the house in Walpole, something modern day divorced husbands are rarely able to do. He divided the 3-story house up into rentable spaces. The entire first floor was turned into an apartment where a family of four lived. The second floor had three rooms, shared a full bath, and each room was rented by the week for a mere twenty-five dollars, cash only, which Dick collected every week, early in the morning, open six-pack in hand. A trucker who drove 3-11 p.m. and spent three hours each evening after work yelping on his CB radio with blatant disregard for others, rented one of the rooms. An unassuming middle-aged man, who was married, rented another for afternoon dalliances.

I rented the third room. It was 10' X 12' with two double hung windows, one that overlooked the front of the house just above the roof of the front porch, and one on the gable end that had a great view of a wonderful patch of green at the edge of Bird Park, which abutted the property on the driveway side. My room got the most sun of the three, but because it was located over the stairwell, it was also the noisiest. I had a beat up old mattress and box spring sitting directly on the floor that I was able to claim just moments before the set was headed for the local landfill, a red and white cushioned Adirondack type chair that was given to me by a friend, an ordinary table lamp, a 14" black and white television with missing knobs that required the use of vise grips in order to change channels, and a second hand 4-slice toaster I picked up at a local thrift shop. I survived on warm Kellogg's Pop-Tarts, frosted cinnamon being my staple, and in the winter, I washed them down with ice-cold whole milk I kept out on the front window ledge. It was all I needed; it was the place I called "home".

Up on the third floor, an older man lived alone. Aside from the stairs he had to climb, I was envious of the privacy his apartment afforded him. Because of the amount of cars needing parking spaces, the front lawn became an expanded driveway, and in Dick's condition, he didn't seem to care too much about the dying grass.

The Impala first appealed to me because it had obviously been well maintained, but when I opened the trunk and saw the size of the space, I knew it was the right car for me. In a boarding house, you can only get so comfortable living with strangers in tight quarters and there are usually good reasons why someone ends up living there. It's never thought of as permanent living arrangement and the bathroom functions much like a public restroom. There were things I felt uncomfortable leaving in my room, even with a locked door. The Impala's trunk was the perfect solution to my dilemma. It was a huge locking suitcase on wheels that I could take with me everywhere I went. Once the car was mine I carefully filled the trunk with my worldly possessions, which immediately looked like a whole lot of stuff.

When I was younger and my family was still living under one roof, my father took great pride in oiling up our baseball gloves before storing them for the winter. I'd sit on the couch and watch him as he sat diagonally across from me in the big armchair, oiling our gloves. It was at a time when people regularly polished their own shoes. He always looked so impassioned while he did it, his tongue pressed between his teeth and just slightly visible through his closed lips, looking like he was holding his breath, gulping air only at certain intervals during the process. Working in just the right amount of oil with the rags he kept, he always finished by placing a baseball in each glove and then tying them up tightly with the age-darkened rawhide laces he had for that purpose. When one of the gloves was complete he would smile at me and ask, "How's that?" I was speechless. The gloves looked perfect; they would be ready to go. The process became a ritual I looked forward to every year.

I initially wanted to become a pitcher and waited for my chance. My first year in organized baseball, playing for the Algonquians, I watched as eight-year old Stevie Norman pitched every game. His father owned a popular bakery in town and I suspected the coach was no longer paying full price for his cinnamon raisin scones...

One night my father arrived home with a complete set of catcher's gear. I was so happy that he was going to help me become a better pitcher and maybe I'd bump Stevie off his perch. Was I surprised when he told ME to put on the gear. He told me that if I became a catcher I would get to play every day... I hated it! The gear was too big, it was heavy, I was hot, and I was the only kid who had to wear a protective cup... He was right. I played everyday.

Funny thing about being a catcher, you're the only one on the field of play other than the home plate umpire that sees the game looking out. Everyone else is looking in. It's a completely different perspective, the only one I'd ever know.

My mitt was a Del Crandall autograph model, given to me by my father. Crandall had four gold gloves to his credit and 8 All Star appearances, not bad for a lifetime .254 hitter who had 179 home runs in his 16-year major league career, a career he began in 1945, as the game's youngest player at just 19 years of age. It took a while, but I embraced my responsibilities as a catcher, eventually getting used to the cup.

I played organized baseball until my sophomore year in high school, when football conditioning became more important to me. Besides, my father was traveling a lot more then and the ritual I enjoyed and associated with baseball had ended. I still slid my hand into the mitt on occasion, pounding the pocket and imagining I was back behind the plate looking out. I never played organized baseball again, but I did catch whenever I could. I was proud to wear my Del Crandall autograph model, and proud enough to keep it with me years later, making it an important part of my worldly possessions.

Steve Pokorski and I became friends my senior year in high school. Nobody called him Steve except his parents; to all of us he was Poky. Due to some technicality, he was unable to graduate with his senior class, and so he was back in high school for a fifth year. We sat next to each other in the last two rows, last two seats; we were the last two in -first ones out, in Mr. Bryant's film class. It was the closest thing to basket weaving our guidance counselor could find, and Mr. Peckham knew we would both receive passing grades and graduate.

Poky and I became friendly outside of school, but it was two years later when we were both still hanging around, that we became best friends. It was then that I began working with him in his landscape construction business. Poky was six feet tall and around 190 lbs. back then, with medium length, light brown hair combed deliberately to one side, blue eyes, and a reddish tan from working out in the hot sun without a shirt or any lotion. He never wore shorts or sneakers; even on the hottest days he wore blue jeans and work boots laced all the way up. He had a very strong, chiseled upper body and could both hit and throw a baseball as far and hard as anybody. He never backed down from an altercation either, even if the odds were stacked against him, or us. He was pigeon-toed and 100% Polish, and I never let him forget it. We argued, teased, and challenged each other daily, in good fun. During the winter months we cut, split, and delivered cord-wood. In the dead of winter we plowed streets and driveways using his F1300 dump truck. But most of all, we became the brothers neither one of us ever had. Our girlfriends were friends, we did things together as couples, and I spent a lot of time at his house, which was fine with me because it meant I wasn't back in Walpole at Dick's boarding house waiting for my turn on the porcelain.

I was the first to realize what a big sensitive lug Poky really was. When his aging terrier died, I listened to his hoarse voice describe all the fun he had with his dog. Later that summer, I drove to a job-site in the dump truck to tell him his father had just passed away. I drove him back to the house. He yelled at me at the funeral parlor when I showed up wearing a leisure suit- it was all I had. It was the first time I attended an open casket service and I tried to avoid the casket, but Poky asked me to go over to view with him, so I did. When he asked "He looks good, doesn't he Vin?" I agreed, not knowing what else to say. Joe was an individual I always looked forward to talking with. When Poky and I were splitting wood by hand using splitting mauls, in freezing temperatures just outside the kitchen door at the rear of his parent's ranch house, Joe would be coming home from his night shift at UPS in Watertown, MA. While he drank a cold one and ended his day, we sat and drank hot coffee and began ours. We did this often enough that Joe's passing impacted me tremendously too.

At the local watering hole on any night you could find the same group of people swapping stories and telling lies. In its heyday, Thackeray's was like a crowded bus full of friends who were living like there was no tomorrow. We ran up huge tabs, often closing the place. Conveniently, it was only a couple of miles from the boarding house.

After work and a shower one night, I met Poky and the rest of the crew there. I pulled up, searching the Mall parking lot for the ideal parking space. Dave had a brand new lipstick red Firebird with white-lettered tires and chrome wheels. He was parked in one of the spaces on one side of the middle drive that was flanked by curbing, a preferred spot for sure. Bambi's Dodge Challenger was nearby in a similar space. In the surrounding lot, confined to painted spaces, you could expect to have cars on both sides of you, and door dings were likely, especially late in the evening when the patrons of the pub were leaving. I parked the Impala right behind Dave's Firebird and entered Thackeray's through the large wooden double doors that were dark stained, heavily varnished, and carved to look medieval. Inside the high ceilings and dark wood were complimented nicely by the rich red carpet that ran throughout the pub and lighting that was kept down low the way we liked it. The bartenders were dressed in white-white long sleeved shirts with over-sized cuffs held closed by large black cuff-links, black bow-ties, and blood red vests. There was always live music, usually a solo act playing an acoustic guitar, a guy or gal who was unaffected playing above the constant, sometimes out of control murmur. The place produced its own energy and on that night, we were there to enjoy it.

It was a night like any other. We sat at the bar and ordered Thackburgers, which were over-sized sirloin burgers stacked with ham and cheese, on restaurant quality rolls, served with steak fries and a mound of coleslaw, all of which filled the huge oval plate the food was served on. After a day in the sun doing landscaping, we all needed nutrition. After digesting the meal, we slowly eased our way into the real reason we were there...

Poky left early, around 11:00. I stayed with Dave, Bambi, and some others and closed the place. When we finally made our way back out through the big double doors, our perspective was like a catcher's- looking out. It all looked so different than when we first arrived and were looking in.

After talking some late-night parking lot non-sense, we all headed for our cars. I had trouble finding mine, and at first I was willing to concede that I had probably spent too much time inside. Then I remembered I parked behind Dave's Firebird and his car was still there, but mine wasn't. I began laughing hysterically, telling everyone that Poky took it! I went inside and used the phone to call him. It was after 1:00 am, but the phone was in his room next to his bed, so I didn't hesitate. After two rings I heard his pillow-muffled voice say "Hello". I wasn't as formal; all I said was "Where's my car?" When he said he didn't know, I laughed again. I was sure he had it, that he was playing a trick on me. When he finally got upset about being woken up in the middle of the night, I knew my car had been stolen. The bigger tragedy was that all my worldly possessions I thought were safe in the trunk, were gone too. I didn't care that my empty wallet was in the glove box, or that my favorite dungaree jacket was on the front seat; all I cared about was that my two baseball gloves, one that had been my father's, and my Del Crandall autograph model catcher's mitt, were gone!

In that moment, I realized not only all that was missing, but what little I had left... Only the beat-up old mattress that belonged in the landfill, the chair, the table lamp, the 14" black & white TV with missing knobs, and the 4-slice toaster I got at the second-hand store, remained. I caught a ride back to Dick's boarding house with Bambi, and once inside my 10' X 12' room, without my sun-faded 63 Impala parked out front killing more of Dick's grass, to look out at - I never felt more alone...

The next day Poky picked me up in the light blue Chevette Joe had used to commute back and forth to Watertown, and the two of us drove back to Sharon Center where I told my story to a cop who was parked there. Sensing it wasn't just about the car, he took me in his unmarked cruiser and drove to all the local spots where stolen vehicles were apt to be found. After the search was exhausted, I was forced to face the reality of what had happened the night before.

I never saw the 63 Impala again or any of my worldly possessions that were in it, with the exception of my wallet. Two weeks later my wallet arrived in the mail with my driver's license, social security card, and some pictures still intact. I was at least thankful for that kind gesture. I bought another used car from a private owner and a new dungaree jacket at the mall.

It's late on a school night and while my wife and kids lay in their beds asleep, 'Vindoggie' signs in. I'm in the category of 'Baseball Gloves', more specifically, 'Mitts'. My pulse quickens, it's a mint Johnny Roseboro autograph model being auctioned by a guy in a small town in Indiana. "No ink, in usable or displayable condition", according to the seller who has 254 positives, and in reading the comments, I see that everyone seems pretty happy with this guy. No, I quickly decide, this mitt is not the one. With a click of my waiting mouse I continue my search, hoping I will stumble across the perfect catcher's mitt...

 

House with a View

The year was 1969. Richard Milhous Nixon had just become the 37th President of the United States promising “Vietnamization”; the slow withdrawal of U.S. troops from Vietnam accompanied by a dramatic increase in the scale of bombing. Neil Armstrong and “Buzz” Aldrin would leave their footprints on the moon after punching round trip tickets on Apollo XI. The Manson Family brutally committed the Tate-LaBianca murders and Senator Edward M. Kennedy plead guilty and received a two month sentence for leaving the scene of a fatal accident in Chappaquiddick that saw his Secretary, Mary Jo Kopechne, drown. The Children’s Television Network introduced Sesame Street to its young viewers and close to half a million people of all ages traveled to Max Yasgur’s Dairy Farm in Sullivan County for The Woodstock Music and Art Fair. Joe Frazier was crowned Heavyweight Champion, while Muhammad Ali stood convicted of refusing induction in the U.S. Army. John and Yoko recorded “Give Peace A Chance” and race riots occurred in: Hartford, CT; Fort Lauderdale, FL; and Springfield, MA. At a time when the world was not experiencing the slightest shortage of spectacular headlines, white, middle-class families like ours continued to pursue better lives, even if it meant relocating.

I was 13 when my father decided to give up self-employment and take a job working for a high-end clothing manufacturer in Norwich, Connecticut. He would move to Norwich from our present home in Sharon, Massachusetts ahead of the rest of the family. He stayed in a motel until he found the house of his dreams; an old two story built in the early 1920’s, located on the ocean side of Pequot Avenue, overlooking the Thames River in New London.

My father spent his entire childhood in and around the seaside communities of Revere and Hull, Massachusetts, surrounded by water and the ever-present smell of salt air. Boys like him grew up less concerned about their first car and more determined to own their first boat. They spent a great deal of time barefoot and were bothered little by the frigid water temperatures that were indigenous to the area. Cutting sea worms, baiting hooks, and ultimately gutting fish in preparation for the feed had all become second nature to him. He had spent the first 13 years of my life landlocked, surrounded by landlubbers. The house in New London was in part his liberation, his return to the Sea.

First referred to by its Indian names Pequot and Nameaug in 1648, it wasn’t until 1658 that legislature would pass an act legalizing the name New London, so named after the city of London. Located on six square miles in Southeastern Connecticut on the banks of the Thames River, it is the smallest community geographically in the state. Because of its natural harbors and deep waters, New London became a major colonial seaport that by 1846 was the second largest whaling port in the world. Later it would be surpassed by both New Bedford and Nantucket, but New London’s contribution to the whaling industry is well documented. The Thames River begins in Norwich, continuing some 15 miles to where Fishers Island and Long Island Sounds meet. The Thames is not actually a river, but an estuary of the sound. By definition: ‘The wide mouth of a river into which the tide flows from the sea’. Even by the time we had arrived, the quaint seacoast community of New London hadn’t lost a bit of its 19th century charm.

The house was built on a cliff and had a three foot wide, four foot high concrete wall around the entire perimeter of its small, grass covered back yard, providing a more than adequate barrier between land and sea. Some years ago the front door had been bumped-out and now greeted you at the entrance to the small add-on mudroom, moving the footprint of the house to within just a few of yards of the poured sidewalk and the busy street. As you made your way past the mudroom and proceeded to step up into the galley kitchen, you remained ground level, but as you continued towards the rear of the house past the formal dinning room, the house became second story; ten feet above the ground and the walkout basement below.

The basement had been converted into a finished two-bedroom apartment and for several years was rented by students of Mitchell College. The college was across the street, occupying a good stretch of the portion of Pequot Ave. we were on. The door to the basement apartment opened onto the backyard and there were several steep sections of weather-beaten concrete stairs along side the house that the four boys currently renting had to climb before reaching street level. The street was the only flat ground, beyond it the elevation continued its steady rise for several blocks. With the purchase of the house we had immediately become its newest landlords.

Both the back and side of the rear of the house on the first floor had huge picture windows, perfect for watching ships and submarines both enter and exit the port. Across the Thames was the sub base in Groton. The obscurity of night provided the perfect guise with which to watch lit, seaworthy vessels of all sorts go by our house. Ocean liners, subs, fishing trawlers, loaded barges nudged along by hard-working tugs, yachts, motorboats, even swans regularly passed through what was essentially, our back yard.

As you faced our house, to the left there were several considerably smaller, older homes one after another, with very little space between them. To the right was 300 yards of sandy beach and just beyond it, an older yacht club that in the dead of winter clearly showed it’s age and neglect. It was on that beach that I first fed the swans by hand, quickly learning just how testy they could be. They were much more appealing from a safe distance.

Built in the attic space, the actual second floor towered over the water at the rear of the house. Both the closed stairwell and upstairs hallway were finished in dark veneers, thickly coated with an oil-based shellac. With just a single light hugging the ceiling in the center of the twelve-foot high hallway at the top of the stairs, the dim lighting would cast uniform shadows that accompanied you as you made your way towards the bedrooms. There were three finished bedrooms and a bathroom, complete with a freestanding, white enameled cast iron tub that had worn through black in spots. The smallest room had a single double-hung window that overlooked the water on the dormer's gable end at the rear of the house. The room was completely empty except for a full-length mirror that stared back at you upon approach.

My father lived in the house alone for three months until my mother went down to live with him. My sister and I stayed with our grandparents in what had been my parent's house in Sharon.

It was early afternoon in mid October, just after my mother had arrived that there was a knock on the front door… Dressed entirely in black and with a kerchief covering her unkempt graying hair; this short, sixty year old woman claiming that she had once lived in the house, asked politely if she could come in. My parents allowed her in, and without hesitation the woman walked straight to what appeared to be a familiar spot in front of the picture window at the rear of the house. With her eyes transfixed over the Thames, she told how her own husband had had a boat tied to the dock that he frequently used for fishing. She continued speaking without once wavering from her stanch gaze, explaining how he had ventured out one clear day and never returned. She went on to say that the Coast Guard had conducted an extensive search, but that he was never found. It was at that point she finally broke away from her distant stare, and looking directly at my parents she declared, “This house is an unhappy house-”. She then made the same line back to the front door that she had made coming in, having seen and said all that she wanted…

After playing my last Pop Warner football game in Farmingdale, Long Island in early December, I no longer had any reason to return to Sharon and went straight to New London. My sister stayed with my grandparents to finish out her senior year at Sharon High.

Although my bedroom furniture had been moved to what was supposed to be my room at the top of the stairway, I stayed downstairs in a room next to my parents. I had become accustomed to sleeping on a fold down couch in Sharon and I went onto another one in New London. They were much different than pullouts. You would unhinge the back from the seat by first pulling it forward and then pushing it back to where it would collapse, creating a flat surface for sleeping. There was no avoiding the seam that ran the entire length of the bed, and as a result it took some getting used to.

There was a heavy, wooden door that opened out into the living room, revealing the stairway that led to the upstairs. It looked much like any ordinary closet door and was always been kept closed at night. I used to go upstairs to play and frequented the small room at the end of the dark hallway in order to procure the best view of the Thames this house had to offer. Still nobody seemed in a hurry to move me upstairs to where my bedroom furniture was.

At first we thought nothing of the door leading to the upstairs being open every morning... Or that of the three vacant bedrooms upstairs, whose doors my mother always kept open in order to prevent the air from becoming stagnant, only the one to the small bedroom with the view of the water was found shut... We joked about "The Ghost"... My father eventually grew curious and put a latch and a padlock on the door leading to the upstairs. The next morning it was found open. It happened repeatedly. Still, we joked.

The previous owners had only lived in the house for a very short time before putting it back on the market. The husband and wife, both well in their sixties, were similar in structure, tall and thin, behaved  stoically, and during the sale of the house were more content to listen than speak, expressing very little emotion. They did divulge that they had purchased the house for investment purpose, having planned on the income from the apartment rental, but that it had become too much work. They only moved a couple of blocks down on Pequot Ave. into a newer, but smaller home on the non-water side of the street. After some of the things began to happen my mother gave them a call. When pressed on why they had sold so soon they would not elaborate, but said that, “Strange things were happening”. They were occasionally seen taking brisk walks past the house, but remained very tight-lipped…

I went to school in Norwich and drove in with my father every morning. After the last bell at Kelly Junior High, I would catch a bus ride to the YMCA in downtown Norwich where I hung out with inner city black kids who were at the Y as often as I was, playing pick-up basketball every afternoon. Even when the white kids would show up at dusk, I remained on the team with the black kids with whom I was now on a first name basis. It had been their choice to include me and I thoroughly enjoyed my teammates and their fast paced, “run & gun” style of play, new to me at the time.

Some days my father picked me up late afternoon, and at least a couple times a week he would stay at the Y to play paddleball with his co-workers, giving me an extended stay. The small family run diner across from the Y provided some basic nutrition and was a welcome food break between day and night. The men always concluded their workouts with a visit to the sauna where the stories poured from their souls as freely as the sweat from their open pores.

That night it snowed hard and I remember visibility was brutal. We stayed at the Y late and after a slow drive we arrived home just after 10:00. My mother had been home alone. I didn’t find out about the events of that evening until after we moved ... Seems my mother got comfortable in a captain's chair watching lit submarines and tankers make their way into port through the windblown snow. The view was spectacular during a squall... All of a sudden, this white shape appeared to jump out of the house and began to dance fifteen feet over the water. The whole time it was looking right at my mother. She described it as having a head, torso, short stubby arms and male in its appearance. She was immediately petrified. Frantically, she switched on every light and sat in the kitchen away from the windows, anxiously awaiting our return.

I wasn't told about the strange occurrence when we arrived home and I went right to bed. When my mother told my father what had happened he did not believe her. He told her it had to be a mist, the snow, her imagination... It was after that night that my mother began ringing the doorbell before entering the house. The two doors continued their unexplainable behavior…

Not long after, during Christmas vacation, I went back to Sharon to spend the weekend with my friends and my sister traveled to New London with a girlfriend. That night it snowed. She and her friend secured good seats in front of the picture windows and watched lit submarines return through the storm. Her friend fell asleep on the living room’s hardwood floor, which had been made comfortable with a scattering of quilts and pillows. My sister stayed up and watched...

All of a sudden, while the rest of the house lay sound asleep, a white shape with a head, torso, and stubby arms jumped out of the house and started dancing fifteen feet over the water. My sister darted into my parent's bedroom and immediately woke them up, alerting them to the super-natural events taking place in the next room... She had never heard my mother's story. My mother’s eyes bulged as she turned to my father and said, "See - I told you something’s out there!" They told my sister to go to bed, but she didn't. She claims the shape disappeared into the house and that she saw the handle to the door leading to the upstairs turn, watched the door open, and that just moments later she heard the door upstairs slam shut-

We moved out a few weeks later after finalizing on a house in Norwich that was nestled in a quiet residential neighborhood, miles from the sea. Although the well-kept hedgerow at the rear of this house could not approach the extraordinary views we had encountered in New London, we were all very content with our safe return aground.

My father carried two mortgages for almost a year. He had the house sold once to a well-to-do gentleman who strangely was married to a woman my father had known from High School in Roxbury, MA. They left a substantial deposit and the house was all but sold... Just weeks before the scheduled closing, the man called to tell how his wife had suffered a severe nervous breakdown requiring that she be hospitalized indefinitely... He said to keep the deposit; $10,000 was a large sum of money back then.

We eventually sold the house, but not before the basement flooded. An engineer was brought in to determine the cause, but even after a lengthy investigation he had no answers… After the new owners completed their move, we took our motor boat down the Thames and shut it down in the water at the rear of the house and just stared at it for a while... I knew he was watching from the small attic room on the second floor. I was scared; I thought something was going to happen to the boat-

A year later while attending high school at Norwich Free Academy, my freshman English teacher brought in a copy of The New London Day containing a featured article about a house that had been declared a ghost house. It was #325 Pequot Ave. We were #352. My mother and I drove back to see where this house was in relation to ours... It was a larger, three story house, high up on the hill, diagonally across from the one we had occupied for six months.

Seems the four year old boy who lived there was found up in the attic late one night... When asked how he got up there he said, "An old sea captain with one arm brought me up". Each time he was found up there the child had the same explanation. Chandeliers swung, pictures would not stay on the wall, and their cat was found dead on the front stoop after it was seen flying down several flights of stairs as if it had been kicked...

Experts were called in. The first thing they did was research the history of the house. They discovered the original owner had been a sea captain with one arm who despised cats. He spent months at sea while his wife waited at home for his safe return.

The family that owned the house at the time included a man, who was a submarine captain and also spent months away at sea, his wife and their four year old son. The experts discovered that the original owner had died at sea and went on to presuppose that his spirit must have remained at the house to watch over his wife. He apparently stayed in the house even after his own wife passed and wouldn’t show his presence until the man of the house was away at sea.

It was believed that the ghost of the 'One Armed Sea Captain' was a good spirit whose only purpose was to protect the woman of the house while the man was away. The family at #325 accepted his presence, understanding he had only good intentions. The article went on to describe that when her husband would return from sea, the ghost of the 'One Armed Sea Captain' would disappear . We believed it was then that he went across the street to #352, and upstairs to the small room at the end of the dark hallway to procure the best view of the Thames the house had to offer...

My mother researched ghosts and found that they were categorized in two specific groups: long armed; bad, mischievous and short armed; good intentioned. Only the two women at #352, my mother and sister, had seen the ghost do his dance.

Neither  my father nor I ever saw him...

PSI New England

They're calling it "Deflategate": The deliberate use of underinflated footballs to gain an advantage during a game. The accusers? The media and other haters of Patriot Coach Bill Belichick,  Quarterback Tom Brady,  the entire Patriot organization and their fans.

So what are the actual rules of football inflation? (not to be confused with the rising ticket prices, jersey costs, and other over-priced concessions) Here's the rule as it appears on www.nfl.com/rulebook/ball

"The home club shall have 36 balls for outdoor games and 24 for indoor games available for testing with a pressure gauge by the referee two hours prior to the starting time of the game to meet with League requirements. Twelve (12) new footballs, sealed in a special box and shipped by the manufacturer, will be opened in the officials’ locker room two hours prior to the starting time of the game. These balls are to be specially marked with the letter "k" and used exclusively for the kicking game."

NFL regulation balls are inflated to a pressure of between 12.5 and 13.5 psi (pounds per square inch). There is an allowable one psi variable that each team has in order to satisfy the demands of quarterbacks around the league. We now know Aaron Rodgers prefers his footballs be prepared on the high side, perhaps 13.5 and maybe then some. Rumors have it that Tom Brady prefers 12.5 and maybe something less.

I liken the NFL ball  rule to the batter's box in baseball. A hitter is supposed to stand in the box, but as hitters dig in, the batter's box lines get distorted and batters wanting to stand beyond the "game time" box to gain an advantage, can do so. I've never witnessed an Umpire stopping play to reset the batters in the box or to have the batter's box re-lined. And so we play baseball despite what could be determined as an unfair advantage. Boxgate? Stay tuned...

Many Scientists have chipped in with their take on football inflation pressure, applying Chemistry and Physics to the equation. They have pointed out all the variables: pressure, temperature, volume, number of moles in gas, gas constant... Deciphering this information is not for the weak, it takes more than a football IQ and a fantasy update.

They begin by using the Ideal Gas Law pV=nRT, where p is pressure, v is volume, n is the number of moles of a gas, R is the Universal Gas constant, and T is temperature.

If pressure (p) is increased the temperature (T) would be increased as well. The change in volume (V) would also be responsible for a change in temperature.

Unless there is tampering during a game, the volume (V) of air should not change, ( n) will not change nor would (R). Scientists can simplify their equation by removing the unchanged variables (V), (n) and (R) and arrive at a more simple equation. In comparing locker room ball pressures to field pressure there are only two variables, temperature and pressure (inside the ball).

If the temperature inside the locker room during initial ball testing pre-game was greater than game time outdoor temperature, which was 51 degrees, then there would be a natural pressure drop inside the ball.

Using an indoor temperature of 68 degrees the equation  would look like this: 

{[(86,184.5 Pa + 100950.0 Pa) / 293.15 K] * 283.15 K} - 100950.0 Pa = p2

79,800.9 Pa = p2 ---> 11.8 psi

At 68 degrees indoor and 51 degrees outdoor there would be a .7 PSI drop at game time (11.8 PSI). If the inside temperature was 80 degrees the game-time ball pressure once brought outdoors would be 11.0 PSI and if the room was 90 degrees once brought outside it would have been 10.5 PSI at the start of the game.

It all gets very complicated, but the NFL has not been strict (think MLB batter's box) and it is safe to assume that game ball pressures throughout the league are very different city to city, given the 1 PSI variable the NFL provides and the differing locker -room to field temperatures. Imagine what a -1 at Lambeau would do to the game time PSI of a football!

In the end, what you need to know is that  Indianapolis  scored only 7 points against a tough New England defense and once the Officials put a new ball on the field, one that was properly inflated to start the second half, the Patriots scored 28 unanswered points, beating the Colts 45-7 to advance to the Super Bowl.

It would be better to spend time planning your Super Bowl menu than to try and sort this mess out. ( I'm thinking Eggplant Parm!)

 

Dorothy...

Dorothy was a slight girl with poor eyesight and severe learning disabilities. Born in the late 1930s before specialists tested for those types of problems in school-aged children, her disabilities were not identified until much later in life. She was often teased and as a result became feisty, but because she was lacking in some intellectual capacities and social skills, the harassment continued throughout her childhood. When her mother became ill she concentrated all of her energy on making her well. She loved her mother and her mother’s untimely death left an indelible mark.

Years later while in her late twenties, Dorothy met Henry, a tall, slim African American man ten years her senior, who she immediately had feelings for. Dorothy was a white Jewish woman whose family had raised her with traditional Jewish values.  It was an unlikely coupling at the time and not popular with family members on either side. But what Dorothy lacked in intellect she made up for with Chutzpah. For good or for bad, Dorothy was determined to make the marriage work.

She researched health problems common to African American men and decided she would not let sickness take Henry from her the way it had her mother. She insisted on a low-salt diet in an effort to reduce the incidence of heart disease caused by Hypertension (high blood pressure), which she said was the number one killer of African American men. In addition to limiting Henry’s salt intake, she served Henry only natural foods. Some disgusted him and when he expressed dislike Dorothy immediately went into an uncontrollable rant which usually ended in silence and an unchanged meal plan.

Dorothy and Henry never had children, but had overcome many obstacles together as man and wife. The obstacle that created the most difficulty was their different personality types. Henry was low-keyed. He worked as a maintenance man until he retired. He was quick with a smile and a kind word. In more ways than just the obvious, they were complete opposites.

By the time I got to know them, Dorothy and Henry were well into their fifties, bespectacled, noticeably gray, displayed aging posture and appeared to be arguing with each other all the time. Dorothy remained controlling and it was obvious Henry was no longer tolerating it as well. They lived in a small single story, three bedroom bungalow on a long winding, wooded road. It sat perpendicular to the road and was hidden from the occasional passersby by tall, overgrown shrubs. And it was just as well, Dorothy assumed everyone was bigoted and didn’t like nosy people.

Dorothy had a small shed at the end of the driveway where she stored the antiques and pre-owned furniture she bought and sold. All the furnishings in her house had been purchased from local auctioneers and were pieces she liked enough to make her own. There were many rooms in their house, each one small. Dorothy often rearranged the furniture to give the house a new look, always asking my opinion and always open to my suggestions. She seemed to be preparing the house for visitors that never came, visitors she didn’t want.

Dorothy had a Cocker Spaniel she loved, but always seemed unhappy with. At the rear of the house, just outside the backdoor, was a small fenced-in area made of four foot high chain link. Dorothy vigorously wiped her dog’s paws before allowing it inside, yelling at it to “stay” the entire time. After the dog was wiped clean she began doting over it like a new mother over a first born.

Everyone entering the house had to remove their shoes. There was even a cheap pair of  light blue corduroy slippers she made me put on when I arrived to do work at their home. They had the same creepy feel as rented bowling shoes; I just knew I wasn’t the only one who had worn them…

Overnight we got a fresh coating of wet snow, about ten inches. In the morning it was Henry’s job to shovel the walk and the driveway. It was Dorothy’s job to tell him when he was done. On this day Henry was unable to get Dorothy’s approval and he was getting tired, breathing heavier than usual, and talking under his breath. It had finally come to a head and Henry had had enough. He jumped in his small navy blue compact and drove off while Dorothy continued yelling from an all too familiar spot on the farmer’s porch just outside the front door.

It wasn’t long after that two uniformed police officers knocked on that same door. They told Dorothy that Henry had skidded off the road and hit a tree. He had suffered a heart attack and was dead. The medical personal was unsure if the heart attack had caused the accident or vice-versa.

Dorothy would spend the rest of her life wondering…

 

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Assume nothing!

On July 20, 2014 my son Dylan & I went to the Yankees - Red Sox game at Fenway Park.

It was one of four dates where a section in the ballpark is thoroughly cleaned and reserved for people with peanut allergies. Dylan is allergic to peanuts and has been his entire life. We put in for the tickets early, but by the time we got the call back all that was left were ‘standing room only’ tickets. We took ‘em…

The section was up on the rooftop, first base side. At first we were pleasantly surprised when we saw a row of fixed seats along a long table that had a perfect view of the entire field sans the right field corner. Then we realized they were numbered seats and the SRO tickets only guaranteed standing room on the uncovered roof top and a few first come, first served tables and a limited amount of tall, free-standing, ‘monsta green’ metal stools.

We got there early and secured a small table and two stools. Not great, but better than standing the entire game.

It was a gray day that threatened rain and the 4:05 start time was delayed as a storm moved across Massachusetts dropping brief, but heavy rainfall in its path. It never actually made it to Fenway which made for a very strange rain delay. By first pitch the sky had cleared and the late afternoon sun began beating down merciless on the rooftop making it a bit unbearable.

By the second inning a woman in her mid-thirties, her husband and their ten year old son made their way onto the roof top and into the peanut-free section. By then all the tables were taken and there was only one stool left and the kid took it.

The woman was easy on the eyes with lean, muscular legs, wearing white Capri pants and a tight-fitting, sleeveless navy blue blouse with white polka dots, three inch open toe heels which provided an unobstructed view of a fresh red pedicure, and she was sporting a belly bump. Looking a couple months pregnant, I did what I thought was the right thing and carried the heavy stool over to her and told her she could have my seat. She was delighted as was her husband.

My son was impressed with my kind act and I felt good about doing it too.

Then, as the game went on I watched as the woman guzzled several plastic cups full of beer and then several more, finally realizing the belly bump was not indicative of a “baby on-board”- it was a cute little beer gut! I had given up my stool to a beer-swilling woman who was not the pregnant woman I thought she was! An ‘imposta’!

Moral of the story? Assume nothing because not all belly bumps are baby bumps and although chivalry is not dead, you never have to give up a seat you paid for or one you secured through early arrival—

At least she didn’t pull a Yankee cap out of her ‘pockabook’… (Ouch!)

The power of greeting cards...

It seemed no holiday, birthday, or anniversary was complete until there was a Hallmark card to open. Store-bought sentiments rank high with loved ones. At one point though, life got busy and the idea of shopping for cards, signing and then giving or sending someone else’s thoughts didn’t seem right. Paying for them just added to my discomfort about the whole greeting card thing. It’s definitely a very profitable business.

I proposed an idea to my wife: For our anniversary why not go to a Hallmark store, choose several cards and exchange them in-store? After reading them simply put them back and be on our way! Of course that did not go over too well and so I’ve been held hostage by Hallmark for thirty-four years and then some.

At one time a friend suggested I write for Hallmark, adding that they pay well for sentiments they use. For some reason I felt that as an aspiring poet and songwriter it would be selling out. And so I buy my sentiments, sign my name at the bottom and deliver them on time.

I never put much clout in the power of greeting cards that is until my wife began her battle with Ovarian Cancer. She was diagnosed in March of 2012 and had surgery just weeks after. With 60 staples vertically arranged like a zipper down her abdomen, limited activity, and the fear that the chemotherapy that followed provided no guarantees, we did our best to stay positive.

Then the cards started to come. Everyday I’d hear the mail truck heading down the side street beside our home and I knew he would deliver in the cul-de-sac first and then stop at our mail box immediately after exiting it. The snap of the green metal door of our mailbox indicated we had mail.

As mail goes, it came pretty close to the same time everyday and so I got into a routine where I would get the mail and open up one card at a time. After showing her the front and telling her who it was from I’d read the printed sentiments first and then the additional hand-written thoughts. After I completed the card I would give it to her to look at. Even on her worst days, her glowing response and big smile was immediate.

Within a couple of weeks we had received well over one-hundred cards from her friends, family, and co-workers. I set them up in the seat of our four foot bay window that overlooks our side yard. The cards kept coming and each day around 3:30 we would sit in the living room and read through them. After a month we had received over two-hundred cards and the uplifting affect they had on our moods was undeniable. Each one had some hand-written thoughts and wishes, and that was most inspiring.

It was when we approached two-hundred and fifty cards that it became apparent that none of the cards had come from my side of the family. I did my best not to think about it, but I couldn’t avoid it. We were the recipients of all kinds of love and the vehicle for that emotion had been greeting cards. I was wrong. Greeting cards can do wonderful things for human emotions especially during difficult times.

Then we received a card from my Uncle Mike and his wife Elaine. My family was finally on the board, but that would be the only card my family would send until we received a holiday card from my cousin Mark and his family on December 23rd, 2013, one year and nine months after the original diagnosis. It is your standard holiday greeting card, horizontally orientated. On the outside are five sparkling gold evergreens evenly spaced on sloping ground, set on smooth matte blue paper with the words “Holiday Greetings” across the bottom- A classy looking card. On the inside are the store-bought sentiments “Warmest Thoughts… Best Wishes… Wonderful Holiday… Happy New Year…” And then below are the hand-written thoughts. “We were so sorry to hear recently… We hope she will have a good response to her treatment…”

I always liked and respected my cousin Mark. We graduated high school the same year, him in the north shore, me in the south. When we were young we spent vacations together at our grandparent’s second story apartment in downtown Haverhill. Mark is a brilliant guy. He finished top in his high school class and then went on to M.I.T. on an academic scholarship. After he graduated Mark arranged it so I took over his job bartending at Father’s Four in Cambridge so I could earn some money while I attended Northeastern and lived in a studio apartment on Beacon Street in Kenmore Square by Al Capone’s Pizza, where it seemed every rat in Boston scampered up and down the sidewalk rummaging for pizza scraps.

Mark’s father Sid was a great guy. I was fortunate to have two incredible Uncles. Uncle Mike and Uncle Sid were the best. When Uncle Sid died of cancer in 1980 Mark took a job locally even after big engineering firms from all over the country came calling, to be close to his mother and sister at a difficult time. He got into body-building and won a trip to California to workout with “Arnold”. I spoke to him afterwards and he told me about Arnold’s preference for peppermint schnapps. When Mark became bored with body-building he started long-distance running, transforming his body into more of a Frank Shorter type stature, long and lean. He raced and one time my wife and I went to Oliver Ames High School in Easton to watch him run a 5K.  The last time I spoke to him he was into rock-climbing and his wife and two sons were doing well.

I often wondered why I hadn’t heard from him and now I know why. He didn’t know my wife was battling for her life and when he found out he took the opportunity to send a holiday greeting card and include hand-written thoughts and wishes that were much appreciated. His kind gesture had come at a good time and in a lot of ways has restored my faith in family.

My wife is doing well and has been in remission for 14 months.

In addition to being a great vehicle for love and inspiration, greeting cards are also a great way to keep in touch with family and friends…

Who knew?

It was in June of 1969 that I gave a speech in front of friends and family that began with “Today I have become a man…” Really? At thirteen years of age? It was at my Bar Mitzvah and according to the Jewish religion by turning thirteen and reading from the Torah, flawlessly I may add, I had become a man! From that moment on I would begin working relentlessly towards acquiring all the privileges afforded this testosterone-filled fraternity.

Not only had I become a man, but I began my growth spurt and that summer I weighed 126 pounds. For my height that may have been normal, but in order to play Pop Warner football for the Sharon Red Devils and have a chance to repeat as South Shore Champions, I would need to drop weight by the end of August and tip the scales at or below 115…

I wasn’t alone. Several of my teammates found themselves in the same dilemma. At practice we ran extra sprints. We were all instructed on how to eat. By the middle of August at least three of us were still too heavy to make weight.

The week before the weigh-in, three of us were asked if we could go to a steam room the night before the weigh-in with a parent from the team. My father was out of town and when he called later that night I asked him for permission to go to the Blue Hills Baths with Mr. Salemme. My father knew Mr. Salemme from Red Devil functions and without hesitation he told me I could go. 

The next afternoon after practice three of us climbed into the back of Mr. Salemme’s Cadillac and headed towards Canton and the Blue Hills Baths.

The back seat was spacious and we had plenty of room to get comfortable for the ride. We were all on our best behavior. Mr. Salemme had always been involved in the Red Devils and been very generous with his time. This was just one more example. His son wasn’t in any danger of not making weight which made his offer even more munificent.

When we arrived at the Blue Hills Baths we were told to strip down into our gym shorts, which in those days were mid thigh in length. After some instruction, the three of us went into a steam room. In there three older men were already sweating up a storm. They were wrapped in white towels and smiled and told jokes that immediately had us laughing. Meanwhile the sweat pored from our bodies and after twenty minutes I knew this would be all I needed to get under 115 and make weight the following morning.

When we had had enough steam we went into the shower area and cooled down. Before we left the older men wished us good luck and we all received white tee shirts that said “Sit & Schvitz Blue Hills Baths”. On the way home, in the back of Mr. Salemme’s Cadillac, wrung out from the steam, we nearly fell asleep.

Before I went to bed that night my father called and asked me how it went. I told him there were some old guys in there and that it reminded me of a scene from a James Cagney or Edward G. Robinson movie. He laughed…

The following morning the weigh-in was at the Sharon Recreation Center at 8 o’clock. They had an official Doctor’s scale there and league officials who ran the weigh-in. If you weighed under 110 lbs. you did not have to get weighed again mid-season when 118 was the limit. I weighed in at 109 lbs. All but one of us made weight and I knew the reason I made it was the steam. I dropped three to five pounds and by weighing in under 110 and not needing another weigh-in I played at or around 125 the entire season. I wore number 90 and I was a big, angry middle linebacker who talked trash to opposing quarterbacks as soon as they approached the line of scrimmage, like I had been coached to do-

After our first road win the bus driver was instructed to go directly to the Bliss Dairy located in Sharon on the Foxboro line. We were told that all the players and the cheerleaders were getting hot fudge sundaes and that Mr. Salemme was treating. After every road win we headed for Bliss Dairy, Mr. Salemme’s treat.

Our coach Jack Cosgrove had boldly predicted in The Sports Reporter that we would go undefeated. And why not? Jimmy Morganelli was the best running back in all of Pop Warner football and our defense was equally as good. We scored a lot of points and gave up very few. By week seven we were undefeated and our momentum was building.

I delivered the Patriot Ledger newspaper after school and I was able to get home, deliver my papers and get to practice on time if I hustled. When I arrived home that afternoon I nonchalantly glanced at the tightly-wrapped bundle of Ledgers at the end of my driveway, like I always did, reading the titles on the top half of the front page. On this day there were black and white mugshots of ten men across the top with the title “FBI’s Ten Most Wanted Fugitives”. At the far right was a picture of Mr. Salemme and the caption below identifying him as Francis “Cadillac Frank” Salemme. The article said he was a mobster turned hitman. I was shocked! I went in and immediately called my friend Eddy. He had seen it too. I hurried and delivered my papers and headed to practice early.

At practice we all gathered and collectively shook our heads in disbelief. We waited to see if Frankie Jr. was coming. Just as we were preparing to head towards the practice field, a black Cadillac pulled up in front of the Ames Street Playground and across three lined parking spaces parallel to the curb. Two men in dark suits and sunglasses got out and opened the back door closest to the curb and out walked 12 year old Frankie Salemme, in uniform and ready to practice. He made his way over to where we were all standing with his helmet already on and didn’t have much to say.

While “Cadillac Frank” remained a fugitive at large, the Sharon Red Devils went undefeated, beating a tough Walpole team to capture their second straight South Shore Pop Warner Championship.

Young Frankie had been a great kid. He was always well-dressed and well-mannered. I  admired the great looking sweaters he wore. He was a good outside linebacker on a defense that prided itself in blitzing. I was in the middle and called the defense, sharing the opportunities with Frankie and Jimmy Sweetman, our other outside linebacker.

Mr. Salemme was eventually captured by the FBI in 1972 while walking a Manhattan street in New York City and later sentenced to 16 years imprisonment . At first he was in the maximum security prison MCI-Walpole (now called MCI-Cedar Junction), but later as a result of good behavior, he was moved to MCI-Norfolk, a medium security prison and the largest state prison in Massachusetts. Malcolm X had done time there.

It was during the spring of my senior year, 1974, that Carlos Vargas, a foreign exchange student from Pueblo, Mexico, asked me to play spring soccer. I told him I was a football player and that I had never played organized soccer before. He insisted I could play defense. All the guys on the team were friends and so I agreed to play the 16 game schedule.

I had so much fun and I didn’t miss the angry whistles that had chased me around practice fields on the gridiron. Soccer practices were looser and games were fun. Carlos was an incredible player and I learned to respect the sport and all my friends who chose soccer over football.

It was mid-season and we had a game against a local prison, MCI Norfolk. We knew that was where Mr. Salemme was being incarcerated and some of us couldn’t wait to see him. Frankie Jr. wasn’t a soccer player, but he suited up and attempted to get in for a visit as a member of our team. After being searched and showing ID he was led away from the facility. Apparently family members needed visitation approval from the Warden in advance.

When we got inside the prison we immediately saw the familiar maroon and gold of a Sharon Eagles hooded sweatshirt and then the familiar smile of Mr. Salemme. We rushed over to talk with him. He looked fit and in good spirits, asking each one of us how we were doing.

When the game was about to start we were told the prison team was one player short and that they needed one of us to play for them. My teammates quickly gave me up, I was still regarded as a football player, and I removed my Sharon Eagles jersey and put on a Norfolk Prison tee shirt. They put me on defense where I was best suited to play.

It wasn’t long before the Eagles sent one toward the net and I made a play on it. I could kick the ball deep, but not accurately like my friends who had played four years of high school soccer. I kicked this ball hard and it went high in the air and deep, but it was hooking towards the tall prison wall- over the concrete and barbed-wire too. All of a sudden this older guy with gray hair and a face embedded with intimidating wrinkles charged towards me in an angry way and started yelling obscenities. Apparently he was the senior member of the team and prison rules say anything that goes over the wall does not get returned and I had just cost him one soccer ball. The other guys on the prison team quickly came to my aid and reminded this guy that I was not one of them, that I was a kid from Sharon High School helping them out. His angry expression at once turned into a wise-guy smile and all was forgiven.

The game was close, but I do remember Sharon winning by a goal. At the end I tried to keep the Norfolk Prison shirt in exchange for a Sharon Eagles jersey, but the guards quickly discouraged it.

We were able to say goodbye to Mr. Salemme and I can’t say I didn’t enjoy seeing him, despite all the things I had read about him. To me and to all the kids on the Sharon Red Devils, Mr. Salemme had been a very generous guy with a kind heart and a big smile. Who knew?

Young Apprentice

I began my apprenticeship in 1981 under my father in-law in the same manner that he had for his uncle in 1940- old school! I watched patiently while he did all the work. When he needed a tool or a part, I got it for him. I could see that he was in no hurry to give up even the smallest portion of the job, especially to me! I was inexperienced, his son in-law, I could only cause him to become anxious. Besides, his customers were paying for his workmanship, not mine. For a while I bit my upper lip, assuming that very soon he would be giving me some additional responsibility.

After several months I became very anxious myself. I spoke up about how I felt, explaining that him and I did not have to follow in the footsteps of him and his uncle, that we could move the process along a little quicker. That by learning to do portions of the job myself I could begin earning money for his company and my apprenticeship wouldn’t be such a burden on him. He became visibly uncomfortable with the thought, pressing his lips together tightly as his eyes bulged, realizing he was entering into previously un-chartered waters, uncertain he wanted to be there while at the same time understanding that he already was.

There has always been a certain amount of respect an Apprentice Plumber was expected to pay the Master; certainly questioning his training method crossed some invisible line that had been drawn the very moment outhouses were moved to locations inside the home. I was convincing enough that the following week Irv bought me five brand new hand tools, put them in an old cardboard shoebox, double wrapping it shut with a thick elastic band. Many may think this was a substandard gesture, but to me it represented a radical change in perspective, one that would eventually see my father in-law surrender bigger parts of the job than I ever thought possible. My old school boss had learned to delegate- sweet!

From that point on my apprenticeship moved along incredibly well. Because it was a family run business, I was part of all the functions including management. Irv soon realized that it was nice having me around, not only for my young, strong back, but as a sounding board too. We discussed jobs past and present, and talked about future jobs and how we would do them, how long they would take, and what materials we would use. We discussed strategies and we made plans. By including me in the planning stage I felt more a part of the business and my enthusiasm soared!

I cleaned and organized the company van making it easier to work out of. Irv didn't mind, by delegating certain responsibilities to me, it freed up more time for him to do the more skilled work I was not yet experienced in. Every morning he would tell me our plans for the day and I would remind him of them later on when he would forget. He had begun surrendering more responsibility without even knowing it, and I knew he was beginning to like it. I felt useful and he had a new purpose.

Without realizing it, Irv was doing an incredible job leading. His stories of past plumbing conquests stimulated me to demand high performance from myself. I worked my tail off, seizing the opportunity to achieve results each and every day. Irv loved it; he had a 23 year old apprentice who was willing to contribute ideas and use his brain, and on a regular basis too! We had become a modern day work team: two men, one experienced and one new to the trade, enjoying and conquering the many challenges each day brought our way.

Just when Irv and I had found our work grooves, his doctor discovered a tumor in his colon. It would have to be removed. Irv and I talked about it in plumbing terms; an obstruction in a section of pipe that had to removed- that was all.

 For a 64 year-old man, Irv was in incredible shape. He frequently admitted plumbing was not just his job; that it was his hobby too. Under his heavily-worn, dark blue "Dickie" work uniform he was a finely-tuned working machine that had hung miles of pipe, set thousands of fixtures, and did it all like a man on a mission.

After the surgery, I was forced to work alone while Irv began recuperating at home. We realized then how fortunate we both were that Irv had been so accepting of the new phenomena of delegating, and that I had had the opportunity to learn at a much more advanced pace than the old school methods we were initially strapped to.

From that point on, each morning when I arrived at the house I received a list of service calls from my mother in-law. I would then go up to Irv's bedroom to discuss each job with him and he would give me some advice that always seemed to come in handy. If I had a problem, I would go back to the house and consult with Irv. It was as if Irv was on the jobs with me. I felt his presence, and using his tools I attempted to carry out his mission. At the end of the day I would meet with Irv and he would monitor my progress, essentially still participating in the management function of controlling.

Irv succumbed to cancer and his plumbing company closed soon after his passing. Working with him had been one of the best experiences of my life. In addition to learning a trade and beginning to understand the functions of small business management, I developed a deep respect for people like my father in-law, those who are committed to working hard to achieve high levels of success.

I reopened my father in-law's business in 1988 and have been in business for myself ever since. The management skills I was first exposed to working with Irv remain important functions in my business today. Irv had unselfishly surrendered portions of his job in order to allow me the opportunity to learn a trade. He took a risk, abandoning his old school approach for a modern day one that required him to delegate. Because Irv had remained flexible, he and I experienced uncommon success, even if only for a brief time.




The Essence of Power

Poor Tom Sawyer "SATURDAY morning was come, and all the summer world was bright and fresh, and brimming with life. There was song in every heart; and if the heart was young the music issued at the lips. There was cheer in every face and a spring in every step." With thirty yards of board fence nine feet high, a bucket of whitewash, and a long-handled brush it appeared Tom would be working under the watchful eye of his Aunt Polly while his friends would come "tripping along on all sorts of delicious expeditions". He became discouraged quickly, until he devised a plan... Make the work look like a rare and privileged opportunity to have fun and accomplish a difficult task. First it was Ben who surrendered his apple for his chance to whip the brush. Then Billy Fisher gave up his kite and Johnny Miller his dead rat. "The retired artist sat on a barrel in the shade close by, dangled his legs, munched his apple, and planned the slaughter of more innocents". It was early in chapter two of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer that Tom discovers his keen ability to get others to willingly do something he wants them to do. It is here that he first discovers the Essence of Power!

Throughout history many leaders have exercised their abilities to make things happen in ways they wanted. In organizations, leaders who are able to get the behavioral responses they desire have great influence and the type of power they commonly use is Position Power. This power is in the hands of individuals based solely on their positions with the company or organization.

There are six popular bases of Position Power. Reward Power makes use of extrinsic and intrinsic rewards in order to control behavior. Rewards can consist of cash, promotions, and compliments, and by dangling the proverbial carrot; the power to control behavior rests squarely in the hands of the one making the offering. Coercive Power on the other hand, denies rewards and administers punishment in order to gain control over others. Legitimate Power gives the boss "right of command" and this traditional method of controlling subordinates has proven to be very effective. Organizational and military hierarchies where rank establishes command are both examples of legitimate power. Process Power is the control over methods of both production and analysis. Informational Power is power that involves the access to and/or the control over important information. Important files are kept under lock and key, and those privy to such information are usually those who have been trusted with the power. Representative Power gives an individual permission to speak as a representative of the organization to department heads or those outside the company.

Conversely, Personal Power is not associated with organizational position; it refers to the power of the individual. Many of the greatest leaders throughout history have possessed this type of power. These effective leaders can be very persuasive, are often described as charismatic and having great presence, and have found many willing followers remain loyal even after changes in organizational leadership take place.

Expert Power is the power to control another's behavior using knowledge, experience, or judgment. It appears one of the most effective ways to gain power is to establish superiority over others by proving intellectual worth.

Rational Persuasion is not too unlike Tom Sawyer's ability to control the behavior of his friends by offering them an opportunity to achieve a goal (painting Aunt Polly's fence) and providing them with a reasonable method (whitewashing) to complete the task.

Referent Power is one's ability to control another's behavior simply because they want to identify with the source of power. Many individuals become effective followers in an effort to increase their own personal power through an association with individuals who have already established it.

Making organizations more innovative, responsive and responsible requires focusing on a number of leadership, power and influence issues. If power utilizes influence by determining which events, actions and behaviors are affected, then politics exercises power to get something done, as well as protecting the vested interests of individuals or groups. Organizational politics is defined as "the use of power, with power viewed as a source of potential energy to manage relationships".

It appears that the road to power can take many different routes. Those in search of power must first choose their direction and then be aggressive in their pursuits. Whether it is Position or Personal, power is an individual's ability to control outcomes. Although not always the case, personal gain is seen as a key motivation for one's quest for power.

"And when the middle of the afternoon came, from being a poor poverty-stricken boy in the morning, Tom was literally rolling in wealth. He had besides the things before mentioned, twelve marbles, part of a jews-harp, a piece of blue bottle-glass to look through, a spool cannon, a key that wouldn't unlock anything, a fragment of chalk, a glass stopper of a decanter, a tin soldier, a couple of tadpoles, six fire-crackers, a kitten with only one eye, a brass doorknob, a dog-collar - but no dog - the handle of a knife, four pieces of orange-peel, and a dilapidated old window sash. He had had a nice, good, idle time all the while - plenty of company - and the fence had three coats of whitewash on it! If he hadn't run out of whitewash he would have bankrupted every boy in the village. The boy mused awhile over the substantial change which had taken place in his worldly circumstances, and then wended toward headquarters to report."

In an effort to avoid a long tedious day of work, with only a bucket of whitewash, a long-handled brush, some persuasion, charisma, his own keen ability to dangle the proverbial carrot, and ultimately the realization of his own personal power; young Tom Sawyer had discovered his advantage.

Moose

In June of 1971 my father decided to leave his job in Connecticut and take a job in New York City.  Although we only lived there for two years, I figured we’d stay in Connecticut and he’d commute to the city, but he decided to move us back to Massachusetts, a move I was never comfortable with. I had adjusted to my new digs in Connecticut and at 15 years old I was happy with my new identity. Moving back meant a return to the old and I had already moved past that. A short passage in Thomas Wolfe's novel "You Can't Go Home Again" says "And he never had the sense of home so much as when he felt that he was going there. It was only when he got there that his homelessness began.” Wolfe was right. My return to Massachusetts was a disaster on many different levels.

First he spent a week in New York, but after a while he was spending two weeks there before coming home for the weekend. It wasn’t long before we lost our father-son connection and we became distant. By 16 years of age I felt a huge void in my life...

After a year and a half spent attending three different colleges, by October of 1975 I was officially lost. That’s when, just after my older sister moved out of our house, Moose moved in. He was my sister’s good friend and he didn't mind taking her room even though it was definitely a girl's room right down to the delicate, white lace lampshades. Besides, the price was right. He had become a friend of the family and when his parents sold their ranch style house and he had no place to go, my mother welcomed him into our home and didn't ask him to pay any room or board.

Moose wasn’t big like the name implied; he was named after a baseball pitcher because of the similar sidearm delivery he threw with during his Little League years. The nickname stuck and became strangely fitting. He  resembled a young Paul Newman; blue eyes girls dreamed of and a friendly, but mischievous smile. He was a legitimate chick-magnet and always up for some fun and excitement. He was four years my senior and a man of the world, so I thought, and I was hoping some of his charisma might rub off on me.

I came home from a day of classes at Bridgewater State College, as it was known back then, and when I opened the front door I smelled something burning. I immediately ran upstairs to where the odor was strongest. I opened the bathroom door expecting to find something amiss, but there was Moose, submerged in a tub full of bubbles, his stereo and speakers stacked on the hopper, window open, fan on, and in his left hand, pressed against his lips, a small dark-stained wooden pipe with a brass bowl stuffed full of hash and in his right hand a red BIC lighter whose flame was being sucked into the glowing bowl. He took a long drag, coughed a bit, trying desperately not to exhale any of the quality smoke that he was holding in his lungs...

I was shocked! I had done a lot of crazy shit, but smoking hash in the bathtub in my parent's house- never! When he exhaled the room filled with the sweet smell of some quality hash. Moose laughed out loud, his contagious smile on full display, and then offered me a hit. I was reluctant at first because I knew my mother would be home at any time, but Moose assured me that with the fan on and the window open, we were fine. He handed me the pipe and the BIC lighter. I took a long drag, holding it deep inside my lungs. When I finally exhaled I immediately felt a sudden rush and an immediate change in my anxiety level. It was calming. I took another long drag and why not? But this time the contents in the bowl glowed red and emitted a small flame that flashed and got sucked back into the pipe. By the time I finally exhaled I didn't see anything wrong with sharing some hash in a bathroom with a friend who was taking a bubble-bath and listening to Fleetwood Mac-

After he climbed out of the tub and got dressed Moose told me he'd received a tip from "The Chinaman"- Seventh race in Foxboro. The horse would go off at 11-1 odds and win. I asked him who "The Chinaman" was. All he said was "He's always right. He says the horse is gonna win, and it wins- " Then he laughed out loud and asked me if I wanted to go to the track with him. How could I say no to a sure thing? This "Chinaman" sounded legendary.

After a quick dinner we jumped in Moose's car. Funny thing about his car, it was a $400 car with a $400 dollar sound system. It was an older, low end Ford or Mercury, memory's not clear, but I remember it needed rear shocks. Once inside it was all about the music though. At that time Moose was into Fleetwood Mac and the eight track tape he played the most was titled "Fleetwood Mac" the one referred to as the White Album. It featured the songs "Monday Morning", "Blue Letter", "Landslide", "World Turning", and "Rhiannon". I immediately fell in love with the album.

As soon as we took off Moose pulled a joint out of his ashtray that was rolled and ready for his next excursion, and fired it up. The pot wasn't as potent as the hash we smoked earlier, but it was good weed and we caught a decent buzz to head into the Foxboro Raceway with.

Once inside Moose was in high spirits. We got ourselves a beer and placed our bets. Moose went all out; fifty bucks to win. I'd never met "The Chinaman" and so I went more conservative with my wager, twenty-five to win. We headed out to the infield area and waited for the seventh race to start. Moose was smiling the whole time, feeling confident with the tip he received. I couldn't help but get caught up in it myself. There was enough time for another cold beer before our race and so we indulged ourselves.

When the trotters came out for the seventh race our horse was looking very strong. Good posture and plenty of energy. Moose went high five on me. We had already started the celebration. We watched the odds board jump around until just before the race our horse's odds locked in at 11-1, just like "The Chinaman" said. This was starting to feel real good...

Out of the gate our horse was running hard. The jockey looked determined. He was out in the top three around the first turn. We were pumped!

After the first lap there was some separation and our horse was in the front. Down the backstretch he was pulling hard and took the lead. Moose was going nuts, so was I. I didn't go to the track much and this was exciting. When the trotters rounded the last turn we had the lead. We couldn't contain ourselves!

Then, all of a sudden, something went terribly wrong... Our horse broke stride and it was being passed by what we thought were the "also-rans". In the end our horse didn't even place. We tossed our stubs angrily in the air along with the many others who had suffered the same fate. With faces full of disappointment, we watched as everyone else quickly headed inside while Moose and I just stood there, alone in the infield area, motionless and shocked, the ground below our feet blanketed with race track confetti, bits 'n pieces of lost hope. Like the majority of people there we were left to wonder "How could we lose?"

"Make your mistakes, take your chances, look silly, but keep on going..." - Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again

Moose was broke. All he had left was a few swigs of his draft beer and the cheap plastic cup it was poured in. I had a few bucks left and I looked at a race card. In the ninth there was a horse called Delamore'. I had a serious crush on a girl in one of my classes at Bridgewater State with the last name Delemore. If I had any guts I would have asked her out, but I maintained a silent crush, like I always did. Every once in a while in class I would briefly glance over at her to make sure she was still beautiful. And she always was.

I decided to bet the hunch. The tip hadn't paid off, so why not? I put ten dollars on Delemore' to show. Moose thought I was crazy bettin' a hunch...

Delemore' came through and I won thirty bucks. We left the track and headed for the Red Wing Diner where we had a beer and a couple of clam plates.  On the way home Moose turned up the volume and we listened to Fleetwood Mac. More importantly, Moose and I had shared a bunch of hearty yuks and after that night at the track we started hangin' out together on a regular basis.

I never asked Miss Delemore out...

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

 

 

No soap radio...

Back in the day we used pull a gag where several kids would be in on a joke and one" innocent" would not. The leader of the group would tell part of a joke and end it abruptly with "No soap radio-" Everyone in on it would laugh hysterically, all the while waiting to see if the "innocent" would laugh along even though there was nothing funny said. It was an awkward moment for the "innocent" and usually wanting to be included, they would laugh along, at which point the joke would turn on them and they would be made to feel foolish...

Being ostracized by a group of people is no fun. Taken to extremes, it's bullying or mobbing (bullying by a group). But, is bullying something new?

No, it is not. Bullying has been around forever. The difference is that the world was a lot crueler 40-50 years ago. Prior to the Civil Rights Movement, racism, anti-Semitism, gay bashing, to name a few, were all taking place out in the open and little was being done to prevent it.

Thankfully, for most of us, this has all changed. We're accepting of other people's differences, we even embrace them and support them in their choices. "We've come a long way baby", but still there is bullying and mobbing in schools and in the workplace. Wherever there is power to be had, there are those who will attempt to control it, and bullying is all too often their "modus operandi".

We're seeing more and more children getting bullied and not dealing with it in a healthy way. Unfortunately, without a support system in place that would provide these kids refuge, they are in some cases, taking their own lives. So how do we as 'mature adults' prevent this?

The first step to recovery might be to admit that bullying is rampant in the adult world. When it comes to jobs, money, and politics, bullying has become an acceptable survival technique. Just look at our political leaders and their negative campaign ads. Like little brats saying "Nah, nah, n, nah, nah -" we're bombarded with negative and exaggerated truths from political candidates and their supporters, about their political opponents. How can we change the behavior of bullying children when we're setting such a terrible example?

Change begins at the top and works its way down. Right now there's not enough people at the top setting that good example. It will take individuals with integrity to step up and set a new course, people brave enough to lead without resorting to bullying to obtain their power.

There's nothing funny about "No soap radio", and even less when you laugh along with it-

 

Long, cool moment...

I was watching The Voice a while back and I heard one of the shows four coaches, Christina Aguilera, say to a contestant “I was waiting for the big moment, but it never came-”

The singer was Malford Milligan, a 54-year-old African American albino who worked in cotton fields as a child and was repeatedly overlooked as a singer because of his lack of pigment. He found solace in B.B. King tunes growing up, but chose to sing the Al Green classic “Lets Stay Together” on The Voice.

His rendition was flawless. “Too much like the original” the judges said. And then Aguilera chimed in with her “lack of a big moment”- She could have sat in judgment of Green himself and made the same comment. Green’s songs were full of “long, cool moments” and not just “big moments”. Milligan had treated the song with respect as he should have. It’s a classic.

Al Green finessed his way into your soul with beautiful songs and a voice that just put listeners at ease. He made it hard not to sway your hips and smile while you listened. He was a mood-changer. What’s wrong with that?

We live in an impatient world. We want our food fast, dry cleaning next day, movies full of non-stop action, and now I suppose our music full of “big moments”- Long, cool ones don’t count anymore.

It’s a cryin’ shame too. Malford Milligan had me singing “Lets Stay Together” for days after his incredible performance on The Voice. It was one long, cool moment, and it moved me as I’m sure it did many others. When they sent him home without a coach I really began questioning the show’s credibility.

Apparently the former cotton worker’s rendition sounded too much like Al Green himself, and there wasn’t a big enough moment for Christina Aguilera or any of the other three judges...

When Blake Shelton told Milligan to “Hurry-up and make an album- I’ll buy it” I had to wonder why he didn’t pick him? Had to be Ratings! Big moments outsell long, cool ones, I guess. I suppose the majority of paying customers want to be “shaken, not stirred”.

I’m going to remain patient and true to my music. I’ll continue to listen to Al Green and always wonder what could have been for Malford Milligan had one of the judges on The Voice valued a singer who can pull off a long, cool moment.

As for me? Stirred, not shaken…

Diversity and the barking dog...

“People are all the same- only different!” It is not known who said it first, but many have repeated it. Individuals are born into this world with little knowledge of what differences are; however, an understanding can be learned through experience. A peek inside an office in any progressive corporation might surprise those only familiar with traditional organizations. They look more like an open box of assorted Crayolas than a twenty pack of unsharpened number 2’s. Not only is there a diverse range of colors, there are also many other differences not so easily identified. Although age, gender, able-bodiedness, and ethnicity are more easily identified, sexual orientation, religion, and socioeconomic status require some careful discovery. Why then, have these differences created such space between so many individuals?

Unlike animals, human beings have the ability to recognize themselves in a mirror. After watching many dogs bark at themselves in mirrors, it is apparent that they lack the ability to comprehend their own reflections. Humans understand their mirrored image and are capable of identifying others who possess similar characteristics. Mirrors therefore, are responsible for first introducing people to bias by helping them establish their own identities, ones they will later use in making comparisons. Human beings who have seen their reflections, understand their own characteristics, and have become comfortable with them, begin looking for similar features in others in an attempt obtain a certain level of comfort in the social environment.

Socialization means getting used to environmental elements through continued exposure. The more familiar people are with someone or something, the less fearful and the more socialized they become. When they lack exposure and do not find any obvious similarities they can become fearful- not too unlike the dog that barks at his own, unfamiliar image. As more experience is gained these judgments become easier to make, though in dogs their roots appear to be at least in part, hereditary in nature.

Characteristics such as age, gender, sexual orientation, and religion all impact the way in which people react to one another. Individuals react to these factors similar to the way they react first to reflections in a mirror and later to the similar characteristics they find in others. Individuals able to identify similar characteristics in others are more likely to be accepting; conversely, unfamiliar characteristics can be responsible for creating distance and in some cases, even hostile responses.

While assessing individuals, an effort is made to place them into a familiar category in order to obtain a comfort level. Once in a category, this process helps determine whether or not to accept an individual. The “halo effect” takes place when one characteristic is enough to place an individual into a specific category even when there are several other characteristics that actually make up an individual’s complete personality. In many instances one characteristic can be enough to create an overall positive impression, while on the other hand, one unfamiliar personality trait can also be enough to create a fearful response, and the “barking dog syndrome” can result.

Dogs, because their experience is very different from the human one, rely heavily on smell to make their initial judgments; it is a well-known fact that they are color-blind. It is not uncommon for a dog to sniff around in order to obtain a comfort level; it is their most informative and dominant sense. They use their sense of smell more than humans, and some believe their ability to judge is rarely influenced by other lesser characteristics and traits.

In the canine kingdom, gender, age, religion, socioeconomic status, and skill have nothing to do with the value system. Dogs simplify their judgment process by not allowing these factors to dictate their behaviors towards others. Human beings on the other hand, include these factors on the list of characteristics and use them to assist them in judging others. The process, though a bit more lengthy and intense, may in fact distort the results and further complicate judgment.

Once a negative characteristic is discovered, especially one that has created problems in the past, behavior can immediately shift to a predisposed response. They say, “elephants never forget”, but in reality a good portion of all behavior is a result of an earlier experience.

If a man grew up in a house where work was divided up according to gender, he may always consider certain domestic chores to be “women’s work”. Women from the same household may have certain perspectives on what they may consider to be “a man’s job”. Sons and daughters of active parents may not agree with age discrimination, having seen how their own parents remained productive and creative throughout their entire lives. Children growing up in diverse neighborhoods where race and religion were not considered obstacles are more likely to develop productive relationships with people of all denominations, and may choose a husband or wife without racial bias. Exposure to homosexual men and women may reduce anxiety and an individual with this experience may be more accepting of people of a different sexual orientation than themselves. In contrast, individuals growing up in a house full of racial slurs and gender bias may continue to discriminate without realizing that the behavior is no longer acceptable or tolerated.

It appears early in the lifespan that self-discovery plays a vital role in establishing responses to similarities and differences. Behavior is cued directly by how familiar certain characteristics are to an individual. Experience and exposure seem to increase the chance diversity will be looked upon favorably.

The dog in the mirror is no more familiar than the one in the window, and since it has no smell, cannot be categorized, the only response is one filled with hostility.

We can learn a great deal from a barking dog…

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